there is writing on the wall in big giant block letters and i refuse to see it. i am holding out ridiculous hope for something that will never, ever happen. so i'm in a lot of pain, and usually this type of situation gets me in or dangerously close to the hospital. yet somehow i just won't accept the truth and move on. it's been a long time since i've wanted something this badly. and as i said - it is not possible.
if i shared the particulars with you, you'd agree. but i dont want to post it on the internet. e-mail me off the board if you can.