Sometimes (often, lately) i just want to give up. Do you ever want to give up? Are you ever tired of trying and not seeing that many results? Even if you're not trying that hard because no matter how hard you try, it doesn't seem to affect anything?
Do you ever get jealous of people who are in love? Maybe people that you are in love with, that love someone else? Do you ever miss people so much you can't stand it?
Of course you do. Of course.
i'll keep you posted.
Until then, be as safe and well as you can. Take care of yourself more than seems reasonable.