What do you see when you look out your window?
i'm happiest when i live in places where i can look out and see a city, a bunch of apartment buildings breaking the sky, and wonder about all the people in it. Even if my friends are far away i feel safe and at home and loved. Just by how big, how copious and big, the world is.
When i have a mediocre view, i seek happiness elsewhere. Looking out from the attic window at my parents' house makes me cry just thinking about it. There's a stop sign. And a sidewalk. We're relatively trapped.
i made a promise to myself that i wouldn't live there again. And now i'm making this promise to you. i love my family to death and back. However. Please mind that i keep this promise.
Today was not the best day. i did something really inconsiderate, and in general i've been a bad roommate and haven't cleaned. You know how that goes. And other, small things.
But still at the core i am doing ok. ok.
Pooh and Tigger (classic, not Disney) are sitting on the chair beside me. Next month i might go out to Battery Park to look through a telescope. On Friday i am thinking about going to Queens for free NY Hall of Science (wanna come?) Still working on how to balance community and solitude, how to make money.
Really the last thing is the only thing i should be working on. Instead of blogging about it.
i continue to amaze myself. and not in a good way. Do you ever find that you are amazing yourself with your negligence as well? i would like to believe that this is a human failing, and not specific to me.